Movies of 2018 I’m not Interested In

 

Hey everyone, I thought I’d do something a little different. Let’s be honest, the anticipated movies of 2018 are pretty straightforward. Is there any doubt that I’m excited for Infinity War, Black Panther, A Wrinkle in Time, etc., etc., etc.? I could expound my excitement for Annihilation, The Predator, or whatever the heck they’re going to call that third Cloverfield movie. But I also discovered there’s a lot of ‘big’ movies coming out that I’m just plain old not interested in. It runs a gamut between ‘meh’ and ‘kill it with fire’, and I thought this might be more fun. So let’s look at the un­-anticipated movies of 2018. I’m sure some will be obvious, others probably not so much.

10. Ready Player One

Steven Spielberg, science fiction, nerd and gaming references out the wazoo, this movie was made for people like me. They even put Van Halen’s Jump in the trailer. But I just can’t get excited for it. To be honest I don’t know why, and that’s kind of why it’s at the bottom of the list. Of all the ones on here, it’s the one I’d be most likely to go to the theater for, even though I probably won’t. I don’t know, it’s just not hitting me where it should.

9. Pacific Rim: Uprising

This is another one that’s a big old ‘meh’ from me. The first one was, okay, I guess, but it didn’t really fire me up. The only reason I’d go support this one is John Boyega (as the son of Idris Elba’s character!). We’ll probably at least rent this one because the kids might enjoy it, especially if ‘Finn’ is in it. Couldn’t be any worse than Power Rangers was, right?

8. Rampage

This movie, based on the trailers, is coming off really weird. In a way it seems like they’re taking it too seriously. Looking more at the most recent trailer, it seems a little lighter. This premise is completely goofy, don’t take it seriously. This is based on an almost 32 year old video game, not Tolkien. Dwayne Johnson and Jeffrey Dean Morgan at least look like they’ll be fun. I don’t know, did we really need this? Strictly a rental, since I’m sure I’ll end up seeing at least some of these movies this year.  

7. Tomb Raider

Another entry on the ‘why did they make this?’ list. I mean, it’s cool how close this looks to the excellent 2013 reboot game, but why watch a condensed version of that when you could just go play the game? I get that not everyone is a gamer, but we’ve seen time and time again that these adaptations just don’t work. You lose something in translation from participant to observer. It’s something I can’t readily define, but it’s something that from all the evidence appears to be vital. Control? Character investment? A combination of these plus others? Everyone from Mario Bros. to Mortal Kombat has gone down this route, and time and time again it flops. I love Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter, but even I won’t argue they’re good movies. Let’s not even get into slog-fests like Assassin’s Creed.  Just stop making video game movies. Video games are cinematic enough now that we don’t need it.       

6. Red Sparrow

 So this is basically to get the jump on Marvel? When fans said they wanted a Black Widow movie, I’m pretty sure this wasn’t what they meant (we would like to know what happened in Budapest, though). What looks like it’ll amount to a knock-off of a movie I actually want to see and get made? Not feeling it.

5. Mission Impossible 6

I haven’t seen one of these since number two. I think that pretty much sums it up.

4. Bumblebee: The Movie

No more Transformers. Sure, this one isn’t being directed by Michael Bay, but do we really need to start doing solo spinoffs for this franchise? And a prequel/origin? Sure, the very first movie does hold some nostalgia since it was me and hubby’s first date, but that’s about it (and maybe the two seconds of Soundwave in the second one, just for his voice). We stopped with the movies after the third one and the kids much prefer the animated shows on Netflix, and I think we’re just going to stick with that.

3. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald

I have a confession, I’m not a huge fan of Harry Potter. I have nothing against it (in fact, I respect the hell out of it); I’ve enjoyed the books I’ve read and the movies I’ve watched, but it never grabbed me the way it did others. About the closest I got to getting into it was going to the website to see which House I’d get sorted into (I’m a Hufflepuff) but somehow I kind of missed the boat. It’s not even Johnny Depp’s inclusion, I’m just not interested. I really hope those that are fans like it, though.

2. Super Troopers 2

This movie isn’t on here because I hated the first one. The opposite, in fact. There are so many nights we watched the movie, often playing drinking games along to it. It’s hilarious and quotable, and just fine the way it is. I feel like this is one of those sequels that’s come way, way too late and just didn’t need to be made. It would make me really sad if I watched it and found it just wasn’t funny because the concept or the humor or something just didn’t age well or didn’t work the second time around. Why can’t we just leave these things alone?

1.      1. Fifty Shades Freed

Well this should come as no surprise. Last year our Valentine’s movie date was Deadpool. This year, it’ll be Black Panther. I don’t watch ‘chick flicks’ in general because it isn’t my thing and that’s fine. But I’m certainly not going to watch one as cringe-worthy and terrible as this. I tried to read both this and Twilight at one point (sort of a ‘know thine enemy’ kind of thing) and I barely made it through a handful of pages of either because it was so painful. The only good thing I can think of about this movie is that there won’t be any more of them after this.

So, there it is, movies I’m not interested in. A little something different. We’re hoping to watch Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters sometime this weekend, so hopefully I can put together a review for that. We’re all pretty excited for it, so we’ll see how that goes. Hopefully everyone has a good week and we’ll see you next time!