The Dark Tower Finally Releases a Trailer!

Hey everyone, here with a very special bit of news! The film adaptation of The Dark Tower has finally released a trailer! And of course it had to do so while I was out of town for a couple of days and didn’t have time to do a proper review for it (although a post about what we did while we were gone is also forthcoming…). So now that we’re home again and work is done for the week, let’s check out our first look at The Dark Tower.

We started off with two teasers the day before the trailer dropped that were a kind of lead-in to our protagonist, Roland Deschain, and our antagonist, the Man in Black. There’s not much to them really, and the only thing I really want to point out from those teasers is the door in the first shot of Roland’s teaser. It’s a shot that isn’t in the full trailer, but it’s an image with a lot of meaning for a fan like me. I can’t read the nameplate at the top of the frame, but somewhere I saw it suggested it said ‘1919’, nineteen being an important number as well.

But let’s get into the real meat of the thing and talk the trailer itself. To do this as honestly and accurately as possible, I’m going to have to do a bit of a double-review. Basically, I’ll try and give my thoughts on it as a film separate from my thoughts as a fan. We’ll see how this goes. It’s hard, but I think we can get through this together.

My Thoughts on the Trailer as a Film

As far as this trailer goes, this provides an excellent introduction to the characters without giving away too much. We get a few lines about sort of who and what Roland is, and we see that contrasted with Jake, a kid from our own world. Intermingled with that is a few references to The Man In Black and the role he plays in all of this. I like that it gives enough for someone not familiar with the source material enough to have an understanding of who and what the characters are. There’s a good-vs-evil vibe spelled out quite clearly without needing to know anything else about the characters that makes it easy to put the characters in the right spots in your mind.

Visually, there’s some really gorgeous stuff going on. There’s some great shots of bleak, broken down worlds in various states of decay contrasted by very ordinary, very modern shots of our own world. We even get a couple of brief glimpses of the Tower itself. I didn’t notice any CG that looked really dodgy the way I did with the Pirates trailers and I thought the visuals overall were really good. There is a bit of a dark palette throughout but it doesn’t wash the whole thing out like in something like Man of Steel.

The acting we see here looks very impressive as well. Idris Elba is both world-weary and completely badass as the gunslinger, a gruff-type but doesn’t come off too much like a stereotype. Matthew McConaughey doesn’t do anything overtly evil in the trailer, or even seem that scary, but there’s a certain maniacal menace in him that he really sells. I thought his casting was brilliant from Day One, so I’m happy to see him really fit the role. I didn’t know anything about Tom Taylor before this, but he is sizing up to make a great Jake Chambers from what we see here, even if he looks older than his book counterpart.

Overall, this is a really good trailer and was much better than I hoped/feared it would be. Now hopefully the film itself lives up to that promise because it really looks like we might have something good on our hands here, even after all the rigmarole we went through to get to this point.

My Thoughts as a Fan

As a fan, I have a lot of thoughts. Now that I’ve done my best to be objective, let’s throw all that out the window and fan-out. Some of this is speculation, and I don’t think there would be any spoilers in this part, except maybe for the books? This part might also be less structured. You’ve been warned. Also, I will link anything that needs further explanation because I’m sure a lot of it will sound like gobbledygook.

-First off, I apologize for any fan-lamenting or any untoward thing I even thought about Idris Elba’s casting initially. Yes, he might not look like Roland, but I’ll be damned if he isn’t embodying the character beautifully. I got chills when he said ‘I do not aim with my hand….’ near the end and was swooning by the time he got to ‘I kill with my heart’. I really like the accent he’s using as well, it feels like it will fit Roland’s way of speaking really nicely. Awesome all around.

-Matthew McConaughey is perfect for The Man In Black. Moving on.

-I’m seeing elements from the first three books or so here. Hope they aren’t cramming too much in/leaving too much out with however they plan on doing the story. There's a reason I always thought this unfilmable due to how complicated it is so I wonder how much will be 'streamlined'. Then again, it's not an exact adaptation, so who knows.

-The pictures Jake has drawn at 0:34 are really interesting. The Tower, the field of roses (The Can’-Ka No Rey), what could be some kind of tunnel, some possible Slow Mutants, doors, eyes, what might be a reclining/sitting figure, maybe alluding to Susannah? Maybe I’m reading too much into these, and I really need a better look at them. Or maybe I just really want Eddie and Susannah, too. They're such great characters and I hope that if these films continue, they will be introduced, even though they'd have to do something different with the relationship between Susannah and Roland.

-0:40- cameo from the Overlook Hotel!

-So we are skipping the whole being pushed into traffic thing and going straight to the Dutch Hill Mansion as Jake’s entry to Mid-World? Does that eliminate the part with the Slow Mutants under the mountains, and thus the tagline for the whole film now either makes no sense or has to change in context? Although we do get a quick shot of the house demon at 1:50, which looked really cool. Without Eddie, we’re also losing a lot of context of the mansion itself, not to mention his and Susannah’s actions when Jake uses that door.

-Roland better follow up that ‘there are no gunslingers’ line with something like ‘I am the last’. Why does he seem so reluctant at times in this trailer? If there is one thing the character of Roland Deschain is most definitely not, it’s reluctant. Especially when it comes to the Tower. Don’t pull that crap, trailer.

-1:29- long abandoned ride(?) named Pennywise. Nice.

-Okay, I know it looks like there’s a sky beam. I promise you, it shouldn’t be. There are Beams, but they aren’t the same as the ones that have become a standard trope in these kind of movies. At least they shouldn’t be. On that note, I want to see Shardik. Because I really wanna see a giant, cyborg bear on screen.

-The shot right before the Dutch Hill Mansion demon, ‘All Hail the Crimson King’ is written on the wall. Nice detail and glad to see it.

-At the end, in between watching that awesome shot Roland makes, I’m trying to place the location. They obviously are in some sort of settlement in Mid-World, but the only one in the first book is Tull, which is before Jake shows up. It ends badly for everyone in that town and I don’t know if they’ll go that route. No word yet on a rating but I doubt we’ll get the Battle of Tull as it went down in the books. I do wonder if/how certain things might be changed or toned down in the movie. Although Roland did plug that guy through the head at the end there, so maybe we won’t have to worry so much about that. There is some definitely weird stuff that happens, though, and I have a hard time believing that a lot of it will stay intact.

Alright, so there are my myriad thoughts on The Dark Tower trailer. I’m kind of cautiously optimistic now, to be perfectly honest. This might actually be really good. I hope. Please. What did you guys think? Will anyone else be joining Roland on his journey come August 4^th? I know there were a lot of other trailers and things dropped this week, but this was kind of the big one I was waiting to talk about. In the next day or two I’ll also have a little write-up about our out-of-town trip and what we did there. So, until then, folks!

Dr. Malcolm Returns to the Park!

As I may have hinted before several times, Jurassic Park is a big deal in our house. As in, The Cynic is working on stuff right now because it's the 20th anniversary of The Lost World this year kind of important. So naturally it didn't take us long to hear word going around last night that Jeff Goldblum, aka Dr. Ian Malcolm, was set to return to the franchise. Given the nature of the Internet, we waited to see some further confirmation of this before reporting. And....



Okay, if you saw the title you'd see that it was in fact confirmed that Jeff Goldblum has joined the cast of Jurassic Park V/ Jurassic World II or whatever they decide to call it. No details at this time, obviously, but lots of speculation on the manner in which he appears and how much screen time he'll have.


Oh, and he also showed up in Sydney, Australia with a food truck to give out free sausages. Everything about that sentence is awesome.

So what do you guys think of this news? Excited? Skeptical? Not bothered one way or another? Either way, I'm still excited to see him (and Sam Neill!) in Thor: Ragnarok in November.

Trailer for Star Wars: The Last Jedi!

Look at this poster! Look at how awesome it is!

First Thor, now Star Wars! What a week! With Star Wars Celebrations on right now, there was a rumor/hope/thought that perhaps we'd see our first footage for the upcoming Last Jedi. And we got confirmation of that this morning:

Needless to say, we were waiting in anticipation but now, here it is!:

Okay so just a few thoughts from me before I leave you to bask in the Star Wars awesomeness. No spoilers, just musings (I'm obviously not at Star Wars Celebrations and have no inside knowledge):

1) It doesn't give away too much. I loved the marketing for The Force Awakens in that you knew almost nothing about what was going to happen but got lots of gorgeous visuals. I'd like to see that continue. 

2) Kylo Ren's (?) smashed helmet, surrounded by glass. What does that mean? Is he doing away with that persona, re-crafting himself into something else? Will he take on a Darth title after he finishes training, or did that practice die with Vader? You also don't get to see if he has a gnarly face scar or not from that blow he took at the end of Force Awakens.

3) That mysterious location that looks like tree roots or a crazy rock formation. That intrigues me. What intrigues me more is a book, with the Jedi symbol on it. How old is that? No one uses actual paper books in the Star Wars universe. I want to know more about that.

4) You get bits of the other story as well- the continued fight of the Resistance against the First Order. There's some really cool clips of bits and pieces from space battles, you get to see Finn and Poe briefly, etc.

5) Finding out about Luke's other students. There's a big shot that is clearly part of the story/flashback of what happened to them and should add more to his and Ren's characters.

6) Luke's words at the end are very interesting and could be taken more than one way. Should the Jedi end altogether, or merely the way the Jedi were organized and run prior to Order 66? Does he think that Light-side users should do something different than the way he was taught? Or is he just sick of it all?

7) Okay, last one. The music. It starts off so Star Wars. But by the end there's such a powerful darkness to it. We all know the main theme: it's grand but light in tone. It's bright and triumphant. This isn't. What does that mean for the movie? If anything? It's amazing though, and makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

So there's my rambling first thoughts. What do you guys think? Did any of that make sense? What did you take from the trailer? Anyways, we'll see you all next time!  


End note- Last Jedi is out in December. Dark Tower is out in July and we still haven't gotten a trailer. That both aggravates me and makes me nervous.

Assassin's Creed Spoiler Free Review

Hey everyone, back again with another review. Now you all remember how I talked about this film back before it opened in December and that I really wanted to see it? Well, we weren’t able to make it to the theater for this one, but it’s recently come out on Blu-Ray/DVD (am I the only one who still says ‘out on video’ when talking about new releases?) so we gave it a rent. So let’s talk about how it went. As usual, no spoilers here.

So in the lead-up to this film’s release, it really looked like we were finally going to get that video-game adaptation film that would elevate the genre out of the muck it seems to mired in. It was going to be that truly great film that would give us what we wanted from the game itself, but also be a good film as well. Warcraft hadn’t been able to win over audiences (in North America, at least), but we had hope that Assassin’s Creed was the The One.

insert obligatory Matrix joke here

For that, it aggrieves me to say that the result was more in the vein of this:

Let me elaborate. I’m not jumping on a hate-bandwagon here and trashing this movie just because other reviewers and critics have done the same. I wanted to like it, hell, I wanted to love this movie. I was excited for it and the only reason I didn’t see it on the big screen was we couldn’t fit it in around the Christmas holiday. It also wasn’t in our local theater for very long. Suffice to say, this isn’t the review I wanted to be writing right now. But here we are.

I should have known from the beginning. One of the opening shots is a long tracking shot and it looks… well it looks bad. There’s a problem of dodgy-to-outright-subpar CG in several spots throughout the film, even with it’s around $125 million budget. Not all of it was bad, there were some really nice shots, but when it was bad it was pretty noticeable. The ‘prologue’ scene right after that shot is really cool. It was very video game-like and had a great look and tone. I really liked that part, even if I didn’t get as much out of it as a fan of the series probably did. It was kind of like the Joining scene when you play Dragon Age: Origins; a little mysterious and ominous and intriguing all at once. That brings me to one quick point: I know I probably missed a ton of references and nods to the games. A few of the bigger ones I got, but I know a fan would probably be able to tell you a lot more than me about all those fun little easter eggs than I can.

I can tell you the action scenes were pretty good. Kind of. The parkour Assassin stuff was pretty fun to watch but the movie had this really annoying habit of anytime exciting stuff started to happen, so did the cuts. We counted six cuts for the character to jump from a roof to the ground and take out an enemy in the process.

six cuts?!

The number of cuts in the action sequences was egregious, to the point where it actually lessened the excitement of the scene because it was so noticeable and distracting. My kingdom for just one long take during a fight scene!

If this film had anything going for it, it was its cast. On paper, it seemed perfect. Popular, well-loved franchise with an Oscar caliber cast. And it’s not as if the cast was bad, per se. Michael Fassbender is obviously the one giving it his all here, given that this was a passion project for him. Jeremy Irons was doing his slimy, bad-guy thing with odd hints of Scar showing up every now and again but it wasn’t exactly revelatory. Brendan Gleeson does a decent job in a role where his biggest scene is mostly exposition, but it’s Marion Cotillard’s Sofia that I really want to talk about here. First off, I might just have a bad ear for accents, but it felt like hers was inconsistent but again that could just be me. Secondly, I felt like her character could have been done better. Considering her arc and how she was treated by a lot of the other characters, I thought she was going to go in a different direction than she did at the end. I think it would have been a nice twist if she had. Considering how important she was to the story, she just seemed really impotent through most of it and I would have liked to see her take some control. What I thought would be a revelation-type moment for her actually went the opposite of how I thought it would, considering all of this. Of course, that was the second such scene I was wrong about. Fassbender’s Callum Lynch had a scene like that of his own, and while it did go the way I thought it would, the catalyst scene actually came later than the one I'd thought was the turning point.

In terms of the story, the plot wasn’t terribly different from the first game and part of the second (from the synopses I read) just with different characters and a few changed details. It is also very faithful to the games in one way, and it’s the one way that turned me off the series in the first place. I could not care less about any of the plot or any of the characters or anything that happens in the present. I know it’s part of the game mechanic and whatnot, but when I tried the very first game and started off with some numpty in the present, I was a bit disappointed. And to be honest, the characters in the present just aren’t that interesting. This mechanic works less well in a movie, where you are limited by a runtime far, far shorter than most games.

There are exceptions to every rule

 Neither set of characters, neither past nor present, got any ample time for development. That awesome female Assassin you see in the trailers? Minor spoiler, I have no idea what her name is. I don’t think they actually say it in the film. The other assassins in the present? Except for one, maybe two, same deal. You really don’t know much of anything about anyone. There’s enough story and development to keep the plot moving forward, but not enough to invest or make you care about anyone that’s there. Callum’s in the GLaDOS-like Animus (which was pretty cool, to be honest) by the 20 minute mark, so there isn’t even that much setup for him before he’s heading back into the past. There isn’t really anything to make you root for any of these characters or make you care about whether or not they live or die or if their respective missions succeed or fail. Because of this, and the way they filmed the action, it makes set pieces and stunts that are supposed to be awe-inspiring, like the Leap of Faith, lose a lot of their power. This is the biggest sin of the movie, you don’t get invested in any of it and it becomes just kind of dull. If you don’t care about anyone on the screen, there’s no reason to care about anything they’re doing. I just couldn’t get excited by the stuff the movie was trying to push on me as exciting because I didn’t care. The whole thing was also oddly colorless, especially in the present. Not in the DCEU-dark-filter way, I mean everything’s physical color. The building, the clothes, 90% of the stuff in the Abstergo building was a similar grey that all just blended together.

To sum up, this is not the movie that will redeem the genre. It’s not the worst video game movie I’ve ever seen, it’s not even the worst video game movie of 2016. You can tell that there was legitimate effort put into this movie to make it good and make it faithful, but the more I look at it, the more I see there just isn’t enough time in a two-hour movie to make that happen (at least not to the extent they were attempting here). At least in Warcraft, you may not have cared about the humans, but the Orcs were well-done and compelling characters. Warcraft also has the one up on visuals as well, the cinematography and the motion-capture was incredible. I wanted Assassin’s Creed to at least give me that, or if nothing else, just be a good time. I tried guys, I really did, but even Michael Fassbender couldn’t save this one. It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t particularly good either, and that makes me sad. If you’re a fan and you want to check it out, by all means. You might have a better time with it and get all those references I didn’t. If you aren’t a fan, you probably won’t lose out on anything by skipping it.

5/10  

Trailers of the Week + Bonus Movie Review!

Hey everybody, how’s it going? We’re doing trailers again this week with a quick movie review at the end to round things out. These are in no particular order but I want to talk about ones I haven’t touched on as much first, with others that don’t need much discussion afterwards. We’ve got lots to talk about today, so let’s get started.


The Mummy

Well, I’m going to be honest, this is hilariously bad looking. Much like the first trailer, it has such a Mission Impossible feel to it that you almost expect that theme to start playing. That’s pretty much the tone of the trailer with paranormal elements thrown in the mix. I’m also going to admit that the song choice is a little weird. The first time watching this trailer I had to stop it and ask aloud ‘Why Paint It Black?’ and never really got an answer to that. The next thing that strikes me is the assertion that whatever they’ve found has been there for two thousand years. Two thousand years ago (from today, and the movie is set in modern times) is after the death of Cleopatra and in the Roman period of Egypt, which is clearly not what they’re going for based on the shots of Ahmanet before she was a mummy.  They should have tacked on another thousand or so and that honestly kind of bugs me. A lot. The rest of the trailer is more of the same and I’m starting to think this might be a hate-watch.


Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

So, Orlando Bloom is back. Really, this one could go either way. It looks very much like a Pirates film and seems to have a lot of the same tone. Some of the CG still looks dodgy but I’ll reserve judgment on that aspect until I see the final product. The trailer itself is fine, I’m personally just having a hard time getting excited about another entry into the franchise. This really doesn’t have anything that really grabbed me and made it a must-see.


It

Ah yes, the Stephen King adaptation. We’re getting two of those this year, between this and The Dark Tower. This movie, however, has actually released a trailer. And it’s actually a pretty good one. It starts off with the familiar scene with the boat in the sewer and Pennywise showing up and builds up quite nicely. It doesn’t really give much away either, even if it’s a familiar story. It definitely looks like they’re going full-on scary and none of the cheesy charm that the last attempt at this property had. There’s going to be some of those horror tropes, you can see that already, but it overall looks pretty solid.


King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

I’d heard about this one, but the first time I actually saw something for it was the trailer that ran before Power Rangers. My reaction to that was basically ‘well, that’s a Guy Ritchie movie right there’ and that was about it. So now this trailer drops and I kinda feel the same way. It looks like it’ll be about as historically accurate as 300, but also that it could be a lot of fun the way that movie was. It’s going to be visually stunning, and Guy Ritchie’s trademark style is all over it. This could be a lot of fun. I’m not sure whether I’ll see it in theatres, but I’d certainly be up for seeing it in some capacity. And unlike The Mummy’s trailer, the inclusion of Led Zeppelin’s Babe, I’m Going to Leave You actually fits the tone and works really well for the trailer.


War for the Planet of the Apes

This is one of those trailers where nothing needs to be said. I’m eagerly awaiting July 14^th.


Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

This trailer didn’t really add anything especially new. As I’ve said before, I didn’t know anything about this or the comics it’s based on beforehand, so it kinda just looks like Mass Effect meets Guardians of the Galaxy to me. I’ll give it a rental because if nothing else, it’ll probably be really cool visually.


Spider-Man: Homecoming

Another trailer with nothing else that needs to be said. Just sit back and enjoy.

Moana Quick Review

Finally, we finally got around to seeing Moana and I just wanted to give my quick thoughts. I didn’t take any notes for this one, this is just off-the-cuff. The short version: this is a great movie and everyone should see it. The music is fantastic, the animation is beautiful, and the characters are super engaging. All the voice work is top-notch, even Dwayne Johnson’s singing is really not as bad as others have said. There were parts that had the four of us howling with laughter, and others that were really heartfelt. It has a certain self-awareness of the tropes of the ‘Disney Princess Movie’ while also kind of following a lot of them. As far as the Disney Princesses go, Moana is a damn good one and I’d say up there with some of my favorites. Go check it out, it’s well, well worth it.

Well, that's it for me. I'll see you next time!

Power Rangers Spoiler Free Review

Time to buckle in and everyone make sure you have your nostalgia goggles on, because today we’re talking about Power Rangers! Okay, we’re talking about the new Power Rangers film that just hit theaters this weekend. Is it good? Is it bad? Will by childhood be forever ruined by this abomination of a film? That’s what we’re here to tackle today! So read on! As usual, this will be absolutely spoiler-free so you can read without fear. Let’s get started.

First off, as I usually do with reviews, I’ll give you the quick background of my history with the franchise.

Short version: I owned this toy. The gold neck shield was detachable. It was awesome.

 

 As anyone who reads my reviews has probably gathered by now, I grew up on a healthy diet of late-80’s, early-90’s properties that are all now hitting that nostalgia sweet-spot and are making comebacks. Power Rangers is no exception. Mighty Morphin’ was my series, and just like fans talk about who ‘their’ Doctor is (Nine, by the way), so is the first American incarnation of the series my Rangers. Upon reflection, it is probably the thing that made me a fan of Suitmation as well.

Now that's how we did it in my day!

 So there is it, I’m showing my bias early and am doing my best not to let that color my reaction to this film. My kids have watched other incarnations of the show and have had a lot of fun with them, so they were looking to see how this would pan out as well. I’m going to do this a little differently than usual. I’m going to talk about the things I liked first, and then the things I didn’t like, second and then wrap it up at the end. So let’s do it.

First, let’s talk the positives. The Rangers in this movie actually looked and acted more like teenagers than in the original show (not like any of them are actually teenagers for the most part). They also don’t come ready with martial arts skills like a few of the original team did, and have to learn to fight once they get their powers. This made it more like normal kids put in an extraordinary situation. The acting from them was really good overall and you could buy that they were teenagers with teenager problems, and the film went with a less goody-goody group of kids this time. As we saw in the trailers, they’re in detention for one reason or another, hence the Breakfast Club comparisons I heard a lot of. These reasons run the gamut from fairly inoffensive to one particular character ending up there for doing something that is actually really awful. There was a good diversity to them as well, both in background and in personality that added to the whole ‘initially unwilling team-up’ thing. So I guess we got ‘teenagers with attitude’ this time.

Not your parents' Rangers

In the more fantastical characters you get the more well-known actors. Bryan Cranston as Zordon was really cool as a casting and as a reference. I mean, he’s great no matter what and he brought something a bit different to the character we didn’t get in the show. I also really liked his redesign, it was actually a nice step forward from the floating ghost-head thing. And if you weren’t a fan of Alpha 5 in the show, he’s a lot less irritating this time around. I think Bill Hader did a really good job of bringing the character to life without being that annoying character all over again. He was actually a bit snarky and his redesign looked better in the film than I thought based on the concept art. It really worked. Finally, we have Rita Repulsa as played by Elizabeth Banks. She’s definitely a creepier, more psychotic, and less cheesy than her TV counterpart and her backstory with Zordon showed briefly in the film kind of made me want to see that movie and how all that went down. You can tell Elizabeth Banks was having a ton of fun with this role and again, despite the naysayers on the costume design, she really brought it.

Speaking of character designs, there were some things I really liked in this movie. As I said above, the designs for Zordon, Alpha, and Rita all had updated designs that looked worked well for the movie. As far as the Rangers themselves go, I really did like the helmet part of the suits. They were nice updates to the originals while still maintaining the iconic appearance. I also thought that of all the zords, surprisingly, the Megazord looked the best. Based on toys and concepts and quick shots from the trailer I was not impressed, but it really did look cool in context, even if I would’ve rather seen a dude in a suit than a big CG construct. As far as individual zords go, the T. rex zord was the best looking of the bunch. The CG itself was overall good, nothing really wowing you as being phenomenal, but nothing glaringly Gods of Egypt bad either. Totally serviceable. The wirework in at least one scene was quite obviously wirework, but it was kind of one of those cheesier moments that kind of brought you back to the original, so I can’t really put it as a con. As far as the original goes, there were a number of nods and easter eggs for anyone like me watching to pick up on. Some were pretty obvious and some were quite subtle. I did like that (not really a spoiler) that at one part the Rangers were fighting putties in a quarry/mine area, cause you can’t have Power Rangers without a quarry fight! Actually, one of these nods was the thing that made me sit up and just grin because it was unexpected and amazing (you’ll know if you see it!).

real quarries probably aren't this exciting, are they?

Okay, now for the other stuff. The stuff that wasn’t as good. Sigh. I knew we’d get into this rotten stuff soon enough. Okay, without spoiling, there’s something right at the beginning that made me go ‘hey, wait a minute!’. Maybe that’s just me nitpicking for accuracy, but I would’ve picked something different to call it. But let’s get right into the meat of this, because there are some issues with this movie I need to talk about if I’m going to give you an honest review. First off, I was talking about designs up above, and I gotta talk about the ones that weren’t good as well. I didn’t like the Ranger suits. They went so far out of their way to make them modern and different but they feel like Tony Stark’s castoffs. Considering the tone of the film, these feel kind of cheesy (they even look make the otherwise well-made toys look cheap and chintzy) and I hate boobplate on female characters so much. This carries over into the zord designs, which they also really tried to modernize as well. But they’re overdone to the point where you can’t tell what they’re supposed to be outside of the red zord. I knew what they were only because I know what each zord is already, not because you could tell from the film. Although, the prize for worst design is Goldar, who we see in the trailer as the giant, hulking gold monster.  His design is awful, there is nothing to distinguish him as a character or as any… thing really. Had he not been called by name, you could have assumed he was just another of Rita’s creatures just on a larger scale. This is bad enough, but there really isn’t much to him, either. He’s more a plot device than a character, which is sad because Goldar is an iconic character in the original and it would have been nice to see him get some real love.

Let’s talk about the film itself, and not just my opinions on aesthetics. The action was overall good but there were a few shots where I just wanted them to pull that camera back a little wider so we could see better. Not as bad as Transformers, but it definitely was there a couple of times. As for the action, there wasn’t enough of it. Even the big finale is kind of… short. At the very least we should have gotten more action/fight scenes peppered throughout the film to keep the pace going, especially in the second act. It took way too long for it to really amp up and get exciting. Let’s not forget this is Power Rangers, you need that in there, no matter how much else you change.

Remember who you are

Before I get into plot and characters, I just want to mention the music. The music was really all over the place. There were some musical cues that I can only describe as weird. They do play the theme song, but its placement is so out-of-nowhere and sudden that it really threw me off a little. I personally would have put it elsewhere, and for both instances used only the instrumental. I’m not necessarily going to take issue with the other songs used, just because it isn’t my cup of tea doesn’t mean it isn’t someone else’s. It’s how they are used that was the weird part. It was just odd and pulled me out of the movie a couple of times.

Okay, let’s talk plot. The plot itself is fine. The characters are fine. How they put it all together… that’s where we run into problems. There is a lot to focus on, especially in greatly changing a world people are already familiar with. You’re going to need to give that background, I get that. But it really felt like with all the stuff they had to talk about, they just focused on the wrong things. They spent so much time telling us this kids were outcasts and screw-ups that we never really got to delve into the reasons why. The movie focuses mostly on Jason, then Billy and Kimberly. While I really like what they did with Billy and it was great to see his character at such a forefront, our time with Zack and Trini really suffered for it. And that really sucks, because their backstories were arguably the most interesting and I would’ve like to see more of them as opposed to constant Jason and Kimberly. It’s not even a show-don’t-tell problem, it’s a ‘they gave us actions, but not motives’ problem. They gave us the result, but not enough of the cause to really care about said result. It was overall a rather serious take on the franchise, which in and of itself isn’t a bad thing. As I said before, I loved the short ‘bootleg universe’ film that was done with the characters a couple of years ago. It was just when this film got too self-serious and lost its self-awareness that I just wanted it to lighten up on the melodrama already.

So, to sum up, what did I think of Power Rangers? It was okay. It wasn’t the mind-blowing revival that blew me out of my seat, but nor was it the abomination that destroyed something I loved as a child. It was totally….fine. And you know what, I hope it does well. I hope it does well enough that they can go forward with the idea from the mid-credits stinger (stay for that, by the way!) and make another one. Now that they’ve established these characters and we have that out of the way, let’s see the next one do something really fun with them, something big and loud and awesome and cool. Because there is potential here to make something good that old and new and young and old fans could really get behind. I didn’t outline all of these cons because I hated the film, but because I want to make the next potential film better. And I hope it is. Hope springs eternal, I guess.

7/10                  

Movie News Roundup!

Sadly, no movie reviews this time around. I hope to change that for next week, but for now, let’s look at some of the news around the internets. There's actually quite a lot to talk about; we've got superheroes, adaptations, rumors, anime, trailers and more! So let's get to it!



Wonder Woman Origin Trailer

We started off our week with a new trailer for the Wonder Woman film, dubbed the ‘origin’ trailer. There were some really interesting things in this trailer, including a young Diana and showing her Amazonian training. There are a few things that are especially intriguing to me: the idea that she should be trained to the extent that she is and that there is some truth that she shouldn’t know (I have a pet theory about this, but I could be way off on it). I really love one of the last shots there where she brings the gauntlets together lightning builds around them, it’s a great contrast to earlier in the trailer where their powers go off and she seems scared of it. I have hope for this one, and my little girl is really excited to see it, so I hope it all pans out.


Box Office
I just had to mention this quickly. Beauty and the Beast absolutely slayed this weekend, opening at $170 million domestic ($350 million worldwide total) and knocking Batman v. Superman off top spot for a March opening. It’s already the second-highest grossing film of the year behind Logan (which passed $500 million total worldwide). I haven’t seen it yet, so I have no idea how good the movie itself is, just that a lot of people must have been excited for and/or enjoyed it. It will be interesting to see how the next round of Disney live-action does, with Mulan scheduled for November of next year and Aladdin (directed by Guy Ritchie) about to begin casting. I’m intrigued, especially since they seem to be doing all of my favorites all at once.


Dark Tower 

 Now to another project I’m anticipating. Up till this point we have had so little regarding this adaptation/sequel-ish of Stephen King’s iconic gunslinger. No trailer yet, but now we’ve finally got a poster. I’m not entirely sure why they’ve gone the Inception/Doctor Strange angle for this, but it’s a neat visual. Especially Matthew McConaughey’s Man in Black upside down at the top, with Idris Elba’s Roland and Tom Taylor’s Jake at the bottom right-side up. As someone who loves the books, I can’t explain this choice, but I can tell you that the tagline is exactly what I thought they’d go with. It’ll bring in fans like me, even ones skeptical about the whole sequel/not adaptation of the thing, and pique the curiosity of people who don’t know what the phrase means in the context of the story. I also found an article posting a song (link is the whole thing from YouTube) that was supposedly supposed to be from the trailer that never materialized in October (though was apparently leaked. I didn’t see it either way). Again, another dark, moody cover of a classic. This one is somewhat better than the last few, at least. What makes me scratch my head is that it would be an excellent choice of song had they gone with Roland’s appearance from the book, but since they aren’t doing that, why use it? Either way, I really, really hope we get a trailer or something soon, if only to show us what we’re getting into come July.


Godzilla Anime

Let’s switch now from gunslingers to kaiju. Netflix is apparently working on an anime film featuring the King of the Monsters for later this year. It apparently has a more futuristic setting for the big guy to stomp through, and will be the 30^th Godzilla film produced by Toho. Not many other details yet, but once there’s more to tell, I’ll be sure to let you all know. Kaiju are a big deal (pun intended) in our house, so once it’s released, I’ll definitely be checking it out.

How big is Godzilla in our house? Big enough that Cookie Monster got a makeover for one of the kids' birthday parties.

Guardians Cast
What’s a movie news article without some Marvel, am I right? News is out that Sylvester Stallone and Michael Rosenbaum have parts in Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 in roles that are significant to the film and the greater MCU. Of course, no word on who they are playing, but there is plenty of speculation back and forth on who they could be. This video posits Stallone could be playing an incarnation of Nova, but nothing else at this time. I’m not going to speculate too much (although I could totally see Rosenbaum as The Watcher) because who knows how Marvel/Disney is going to connect things at this point. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see, unless we get another trailer that gives us something more.



Valerian Trailer for Trailer
So, director Luc Besson released a trailer for a trailer for his Valerian and the City of the Thousand Planets on Twitter for his birthday. It doesn’t really tell you anything new at this point. I’ll check out the full trailer on the 29^th and see what happens. I’m not overly interested in this one, the first trailer made me feel like someone had smashed Mass Effect and Guardians of the Galaxy together, but in a cynical way, not a good way. So that’s there, if you want to check it out.

Commander Shepard would like her armor back. With the N7 logo reattached.

More Matrix?
I’ve seen rumors swirling the past few days about a reboot of The Matrix. I am, for the record, absolutely against such a remake. Apparently now it’s not a remake, but another film set in the same universe. That I can deal with. I really liked The Animatrix, so I would be down to see more of that world that wasn’t a prequel or a retread or any of those fancy buzzwords. Because you aren’t going to recapture the greatness of that first film, so I’d much rather see other parts of this world and other stories.


Unleash the Archers
One final note to music and especially heavy metal fans. A favorite of ours, Unleash the Archers, has a new album coming out that you can preorder now! I already did, and I cannot wait to get my hands on it (my preorder said shipping to arrive June 2^nd). Just had to share some love for Canadian metal.


Well, that’s what I’ve got for this week, everyone. What do you think of some of these rumors/stories? Anything exciting, anything make you want to tear your hair out in frustration? Next time I’ll hopefully have some new reviews, Power Rangers is out next weekend, as is Life, or might hit up Beauty and the Beast, depending on how much time we have. See you then!